Top Ten Signs You Have a Roommate From Hell

Apartment living can be a truly easygoing lifestyle. Leaky sink? Call the super. Too noisy next door? A polite tap on the wall usually gets it done. And you never have to wake up on a Saturday to tackle yard work. At best, you tend to your window boxes or a couple potted plants on the balcony.

When you move to a new city, such as our beloved Atlanta, for instance, especially when you’re showing up for school, a new job, or just to shake things up, connecting with others in a similar situation is a smart move. Finding a roommate can be a smart move. Using online connection services, adds in the free local arts weeklies or Craigslist can put you in touch with well-intentioned folks with the same needs as you.

But occasionally, it turns out that you draw interest from someone who doesn’t have both oars in the water. You may be desperate for someone to help share the rent, but it’s worth taking a minute or two to make sure your potential roomie isn’t bat-guano crazy.

How can you tell before you both start sharing floorspace? We reached out to our trusted panel of Atlanta apartment-dwelling veterans, who helped us compile this list of characteristics that they agree would be less than desirable. If you’re prospective roommate shows any of these attributes, we suggest moving on before you move in:

1. Sets up his personal tanning bed and then tells you he wants to split utilities.

2. Has a personal tanning bed.

3. Too busy catching up on Jersey Shore to TiVo Downton Abbey — or vice versa.

4. Tells you his Turkish Oil Wrestling club will meet at your place only like once a month.

5. Keeps asking you to join his Turkish Oil Wrestling Club.

6. Crochets matching “Best Roomies” cup holders for you . . . and her cats.

7. Leaves the toilet seat up because they insist it’s more comfortable.

8. Informs you that she’s writing a “Cooking With Skunk Cabbage” cookbook, and nominates you official taste tester.

9. Labels everything of yours in the refrigerator. Your nickname is Honey Badger.

10. Wants to take just a few minutes of your time to talk about tremendous investment opportunities courtesy of Nigerian wealth management services.

If you happen to find a roommate who doesn’t display these questionable qualities, check out DDA for a great deal on a great place you can both agree on.